Stories taken from the board of Customers Suck! Art by Jennie Breeden of The Devils Panties.
“Fifth tonight,” mutters Customersruinmylife.
How to effectively complain without being sucky
by admin on April 20, 2008 at 8:38 amPosted In: Advice
How to stand up for yourself without being a sucky customer
Sometimes it’s not the customer who’s sucky, it’s the company. When this happens to you, you can actually get what you need and deserve without becoming a sucky customer yourself. It just takes knowing how. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Please, at least be in front of the PC
by on July 9, 2007 at 1:46 pmPosted In: Unsupportable, Technical Tribulations
Why It Is Important to Register Your Software
by Dips
At our company, registering your software does the following for you:
1. You qualify for technical support. We don't supply it to anyone who isn't registered.
2. If you lose your serial number, I can look you up by name and give it to you.
3. You get notified when an update is released. Sometimes that update is free and you will WANT to know about it.
4. You are able to purchase new releases at the update price, which is less than half the price of a new license.
By far the most important reason is number 2. If you call us for reasons 1 or 4 and you haven't registered, we'll just get you registered and you're all set. Reason 3 isn't a big deal. You can always find out about new releases from other sources.
But, if you call us for reason 2 and you haven't registered, it's too late. There's really nothing we can do for you.
Today I had the following tragic conversation:
Caller: I bought your software in 2000 and lost all my disks.
Me: Do you know your license number?
Caller: No.
Me: Is it currently installed on a computer?
Caller: Um. It was, but it crashed. That's why I'm calling. I lost my disks when I moved six months ago and my computer just crashed. Now I can't re-install.
Me: [Then why the heck didn't you call us six months ago? You could have taken you serial number from Help/About] If you registered your software I can look you up in our database. Do you know if you registered?
Caller: I don't think I did.
Me: Well. I'll give it a try anyway. Can I have your name?
Caller: [name]
Me: OK. I'm afraid I didn't find any licenses registered to [name]. Do you remember who you bought it from?
Caller: [reseller]
Me: Your best bet is to give them a call and see if they kept a record of the serial number they sold you. If you can get that from them, give us another call with the number and we can get you registered. Since you say you bought it in 2000, you will probably have to buy an update, but it is much cheaper than buying another license.
Caller: You can't just replace it?
Me: I'm afraid we don't replace software that far out-of-date. The latest version is $300 if you can give me your license number. If you can't locate your license number, a new license is $600. Hopefully, your dealer kept a record of the license he sold you.
Caller: [sounding very disappointed] Okay.
Now this one didn't get too sucky on me. Believe me, some of them do. I feel bad, but really, what the hell do they expect? That we just give software away to any random person who calls us with a sob story about losing their disks? That their say-so is a substitute for proof of ownership?
It's frustrating, because I LIKE helping people. But I can't help people who won't do the bare minimum to take care of their stuff. You'd think people would take better care of stuff that costs $600.
Please, at least be in front of the PC
by on July 9, 2007 at 1:46 pmPosted In: Unsupportable, Technical Tribulations
The modem standby button
by TNT
Some people call tech support for the simplest things… while others won't call until they've really screwed things up. Personally, I'd rather most of them call me before they touch anything. Consider the standby button that some modems have…
Caller: The internet don't work.
Me: What lights do you see on the modem?
Caller: Ain't no lights on the modem… except the standby light.
Me: Press the button on the top of the modem and everything will be fine.
Caller: It works now. Thanks.
That can be a little annoying, but it's far better than…
Caller: I pressed it but it still don't work.
Me: Okay, what did you do before you called me?
Caller: I didn't do nothing… except click on some stuff to see if I could get it to work.
Me: Like what?
Caller: I don't remember exactly.
Me: Do you remember any of it?
Caller: Well, I saw this "network stuff" and "internet stuff." Some other things maybe.
Me: And you just randomly started changing settings?
Caller: Um… yeah.
Me: This is going to be fun.
Please, at least be in front of the PC
by on July 9, 2007 at 1:46 pmPosted In: Unsupportable, Technical Tribulations
Please at least be in front of the PC
by ctown28
I can't be the only one that has heard this:
SC: I'm trying to do "blah, blah blah and it gives me an error, it says it can't do it" but I can't remember the error message.
Me: Could you recreate it and read me the exact error message?
SC: I knew you were gonna ask me that, hold on while I go back to the computer
First off, don't call me if the computer is not right there, I don't have time for you to run back and forth between the phone and the PC
Secondly, At least write down the exact error message!
I don't know how many times I have told people, that without the error message, I can't help them
Return Scams
by pbmods
Reading a couple of other threads piqued my interest on retail return scams. So I thought I'd start a new thread so we could compare notes and find out how customers try to beat the system (and how we can stop them!). So far, here are the ones I know about:
- Receipt Fraud: Scammer acquires receipt tape for your store, prints out his own receipts and makes multiple returns of an item bought elsewhere for less. Also, people buying and selling live receipts (where the item was paid for with cash). Not sure if there's a way to combat that without some kind of central database….
- Renting: Scammer buys an item, uses it then returns it, in essence getting a free rental of that item. I would presume that asking the customer a lot of questions about why he is returning it and offering an exchange at every opportunity will help deter this.
- Switching: Scammer buys two similar items with different prices, then switches them so he can return the cheaper item in the more expensive item's packaging (thereby effectively buying the more expensive item at the cheaper price).